Tennessee - Do it with your hands

Tennessee - land of a thousand chain restaurants. They're taking it to a whole new level.. they actually have something called KFC Buffet... All you can eat fried almost-chicken? No Thanks.

How about the meal at Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede Dinner & Show? This is a prixe fix meal served to you while you watch cowboys and Indians, trick-riding, the chicken chase relay race, magic, bad comedy, song and dance etc. It's the TV dinner on meth. The menu? Each person gets: 1 WHOLE Chicken, 2 Pork Chops, 1/2 corn-on-cob, 1/2 baked potato, cream of vegetable soup, 1 biscuit, and an apple turnover. What you don't get, is silverware. That's right folks, you're gonna eat that all with your hands. Wash it all down with unlimited sweet tea for a meal that robs you of any hope for family conversation and injects you with a hefty dose of barbarism (and sodium) in the process. Pigeon Forge, TN is littered with these dinner shows (Elvis Impersonators, Magicians, Animal Wranglers, and even good Christian Storytelling). But I suppose I can't really be surprised, seeing as the town boasts more As-Seen-On-TV stores and go-kart tracks than I've ever seen in all other places combined.

Man, the South seems like another world...